If my college search was anything like yours, you probably did some research on where you wanted to go. This research probably consisted of reading booklets (probably sent to you, unsolicited, by more colleges than you knew existed), checking out the thick listings in college books at the bookstore, talking to friends that went to your potentially-desired schools, and maybe (if you were really dedicated) reading through course listings to determine if there were going to be classes that you really would want to take. It may or may not have involved extensive internet searches, photo gallery tours and cheesy videos created by the school to welcome you and spark your interest.
You probably also visited.
College visits were a right of passage when I was applying to schools. Starting in 11th grade, my parents and I made sure to stop by any colleges that were near to anyplace we went. It didn’t matter whether I was interested in the school or not, we still had to see it. (I acknowledge that this level of intensity may have been excessive). Some colleges were immediately crossed off “the list” before we even attended a tour – I hated the “feeling.” Some colleges were pleasantly surprising and we spent more time there than we had planned. I ended up applying to (and ultimately choosing) a school that hadn’t even been near the list before we happened to end up near there.
Step one: passive research. Step two: active visit.
Then! Then! Then, if you were lucky enough to be accepted to more than one school, most colleges had some sort of “accepted students days” where you got to go to campus, meet other accepted students, attend some lectures and maybe stay overnight in a dorm. Being shy and somewhat uncertain of my-high-school-self, this was not my favorite part of the process, but I did visit some friends that were already at a couple of schools. And I did attend some classes.
The point is: I saw these schools with my own two eyes.
Then COVID changed everything. Of course it did.
In the past few weeks, I have seen more and more clients that are unhappy at school. It wasn’t what they expected; the people aren’t nice; the professors are dull; the city is scary. It just doesn’t “feel” right. They had hoped for more (or at least something different). These students are already thinking about transferring and it is only the third week of school.
Perhaps it is too easy to blame COVID. There has certainly always been the “retention rate” statistic that is quoted in the “top colleges” guidebooks. I don’t have the numbers, and I doubt that the research has been done yet, but anecdotally, I’m betting that the retention rate at schools is going to drop. And this, I do blame on COVID.
One of my clients summed it up for me perfectly the other day. She said, “I wish I had been able to see it. We didn’t get to visit. I might have known if I could have come here before.”
I can’t say for certain if she is right. Would she have chosen a different school? Would she have known that it wouldn’t be the right fit? Hindsight can only tell us so much, and we certainly don’t need to play what-if games. What I do know is that she would have gone into her decision-making process with a little extra information.
The students that we are sending off to college are not prepared for what they are getting. They have seen pictures online and maybe attended an informational session prior to the start of school. But they have not walked the hallways, they have met other students only online, they have not attended a class.
Not only that, but they have also spent the last year of their lives learning independently and from their bedrooms (not in all cases, but in many). The idea of getting up, getting dressed and going to a classroom is suddenly different. So not only are they away from home and adjusting to all the things that college kids normally adjust to, but they are also someplace they may never have SEEN before AND they are doing something that they haven’t had to do in a very long time. (Not to even start to mention the stress that they are feeling because of the global pandemic that has changed the world)
The answer, of course, is not that these teenagers don’t go to college, because of course they do. But the answer might be a little more compassion and understanding when they have a hard time, or are extra homesick, or want to transfer schools. They have been at a disadvantage. For the past two years, the college application process has looked very different than it ever has before. If there are more kids who come home after a semester or who transfer after a semester, I think that has to be ok.
A seemingly low retention rate is not a failure on their part (or on the college’s part). Not to sound too cliché, but the whole thing is a learning experience – a chance to learn what they like and don’t like, what they need to prioritize, what works for them, where they feel most comfortable. It’s a chance for us, as the grownups to listen without judging, recognize that things now are different and respond with compassion. These kids will find their way. And isn’t learning what college is supposed to be about anyway?
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